i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
