I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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