i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
