i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
