508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
