I hate all girls vehemently.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
