whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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