Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
