I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
not ubering you a puppy
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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