so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
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