You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
