Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
