Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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