Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
