I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
