I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Randomize
