Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
