i need an iv and a liver transplant
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
