If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize