Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
