Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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