On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
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