You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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