You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
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At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
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I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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