i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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