In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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