I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize