Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
