thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
