the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
