Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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