please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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