dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Damn victory sex feels great
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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