is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
