I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
