I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
