had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
