Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
