Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
