Betty ford says i'm here all night
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
