Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
