U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
They took my balls.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
