It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
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I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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