I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
