Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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