I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
