There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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