Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
