Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
