I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize