I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
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Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
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BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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