fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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