It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize