no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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