I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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