you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize