If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
