I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
