Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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