Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
