Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
