high people should be assigned attendants
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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