I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
