so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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